Exercise 4: Write readable content

Use the checklist for designing readable content.

Review the following examples.

Make a list of what is done well, and what needs improvement. Compare your ideas with our suggestions.

Example 1

Electors who are aged 17 years can enrol provisionally. They can only vote when they reach 18 years of age. Enrolled electors are eligible to vote in Commonwealth, State and local government elections.

Example 1 - our suggested improvements

Register	A little too formal
Words	Some words are not well chosen, especially for a 17-year-old audience: electors, provisionally No buzzwords, gobbledygook or idioms No jargon
Abbreviations	None are used
Sentences	Short sentences are used
Verbs	No passive voice
Personal pronouns	‘You’ is better than ‘electors’ and ‘enrolled electors’. And ‘you’ can then replace ‘they’.
Concise writing	‘Are eligible to’ could be one word – ‘can’ Rewriting could save more words

Example 2

Composting or worm farming is a fantastic way to reduce your household's food waste going to landfill. Brisbane City Council is making purchasing your organic recycling system easier with our compost rebate program. The program provides eligible Brisbane residents a rebate of up to $70 off the purchase of eligible composting equipment.

Example 2 - our suggested improvements

Words	‘Purchase’ could be ‘buy’ No buzzwords, gobbledygook or idioms No jargon
Abbreviations	None are used
Sentences	Short sentences are used
Verbs	No passive voice
Personal pronouns	‘We’ would be better than ‘Brisbane City Council’ ‘You’ is used appropriately
Concise writing	First sentence doesn’t need to be there. This is not about composting benefits, but about the rebate. Second sentence just says in more general terms what the third sentence says. So it shouldn’t be there either.